I Am What I Am

Like a bolt out of the blue it came to me. Popeye had it right when he said " I am what I am"
I have spent more than the last five and a half years searching for myself. 

For almost thirty years I was half of a couple and not the easy identifiable half but the half that was mostly just a fuzzy shadow following along on my husband's path. 

So I walked away, left that fuzzy shadow behind, and stepped into the light on my way to search for who I thought I had lost by degrees over the years.

I have been searching so hard and anguishing over not being able to connect the dots between the girl I was and the woman I became or thought I had lost, that I didn't see that what was lost was only really locked away and I had just forgotten where I had put the key.

Every day, hour, and moment has brought me to this realization, that I am what I am. I don't have to look beyond what I like, what gives me pleasure, what makes me smile and what makes me cry. 

There isn't a magic button or magic pill. There is no big secret or profound discovery other than finding out,I am what I am. 

That for me is the key.